"For Wherever Two Or Three Are Gathered..."

[The Midweek Encounter is a ministry of Encounter Church in Kentwood, MI. These posts are a reflection on Sunday’s message, which can be heard here each week: http://myencounterchurch.org/#/hear-a-message]

Perhaps it’s because Christians see it as a moral duty to suffer in silence, or maybe Christians just don’t want to cause a row. Whatever the reason, Christians have become a decidedly passive, and increasingly passive-aggressive group. When it comes to the relationships that are close to our hearts, we tend to avoid confrontation at all costs.

Your neighbor borrows your weed whacker and returns it without any trimmer line? No problem. You’ll just buy some more at the store. Your neighbor borrows your car and returns it on “E”? No problem. You’ll just leave a bit early for work tomorrow and get gas on your way in. Your neighbor borrows eggs…and then batteries…and then…your iphone charger? Well, ok. You can have oatmeal for breakfast and you’ll replace the batteries in the remote control later (it’s good exercise to walk up to the TV to change the channel anyway) and you were spending far too much time Instagramming from your phone. But eventually, over time, you can’t help but harbor a simmering bitterness towards your neighbor. A little trimmer line here or a few eggs there morphs into just one tiny, little complaint to a mutual friend. Then the gas and the batteries become just a little gossip a backyard BBQ. But over the course of a few months, you lose control of the bitterness and it creeps onto facebook. Then it becomes #slander on Twitter. And suddenly, one Friday morning, as you find yourself endorsing your neighbor for “5 finger discounting” and “Scam-mongering” on Linkedin, you realize that this conflict has evolved into something beyond your control.

So what does Jesus have to say about dealing with conflict? Well, Jesus says exactly what the modern day Christian would expect. Jesus tells his disciples to confront the person privately and to work out the disagreement quietly and discreetly. And if the wrongdoer refuses to listen, then Jesus suggests that one or two other trusted, reliable, wise Christians should be consulted. And if the neighbor still won’t listen, then Jesus says, well, to treat the neighbor like a “pagan or a tax collector.” When Jesus’ listeners heard this, they understood that Jesus was giving them permission to treat the neighbor contemptuously. But of course, Jesus’ words turn that understanding upside down. Rather than writing the wrongdoer off as a lost cause or a reckless crook, Jesus tells his listeners to pursue that neighbor in the same way that God pursues each of us. He commands his followers to gather round the one at fault and to continuously correct him out of love and concern, “For wherever two or three are gathered in my name, there I am with them” (Matt. 18:20).

[Kristin vanEyk attends Encounter Church and teaches English in Grand Rapids, MI.]