Tuesday, September 23, 2014

When Prayer Feels Pointless

[The Midweek Encounter is a ministry of Encounter Church in Kentwood, MI. These posts are a reflection on Sunday's message, which can be heard here each week: http://www.myencounterchurch.org/#/messages-media]


As someone who grew up in Christianity-saturated community, I’ve been told all of the “correct” answers for when we feel like God isn’t listening to our prayers.

“His ways aren’t like ours.”

“He answers prayer, just not always in the timeline we’d like him to.”

“When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.” (Okay, that one might have come from The Sound of Music, but I’m sure someone has said it at some point too.)

At least for me, prayer is one of the most difficult parts of following Jesus. I'd be willing to guess that unanswered prayers have been a catalyst for more than a few people to walk away from faith entirely. For those of us who have ever prayed, even if only a handful of times, at some point we’ve probably all wondered what the point is. We’ve probably wondered if God is actually paying attention, or if our words just fall to the floor, empty and meaningless. Maybe we’ve prayed the same thing for weeks, months, or years, and though we’ve been told that God answers prayers, even if it’s sometimes with a “No,” it seems that he has completely overlooked ours.

As he has for each message in this series, on Sunday Pastor Dirk started by reminding us prayer is not supposed to be about bending God's will to ours, though that's how many of us approach it. Instead, prayer is supposed to conform our will to God's.

This is not something that comes easily to me.

Thomas à Kempis, who was a German priest and author, wrote:

"As thou wilt;

What thou wilt;

When thou wilt."

Which strikes me as perhaps the scariest kind of prayer we could pray. It doesn’t ask God for anything except for what he wants for us.

Because ultimately, prayer is not a way for us to get what we want from God, but a way God uses to form us, ever-shaping us to look more like him.

Which is likely not going to be a comfortable process. It might lead to a life that looks a whole lot different than the one we planned for ourselves, whether it's outward changes like a change of major, job, or location, or inward changes like a change of desire or focus. Those are the things God uses to form us into his likeness.

It doesn't mean he always ignores our prayers or that he doesn't want to hear them--nothing could be further from the truth, really. Prayer is about communication, about building a relationship with God that teaches us how to be more like him and to align our hearts with his.

It’s easy for me to sit here and type these words about how God uses prayer to form us to be more like him, but in the actuality of unanswered prayer, in the heartache and the sickness and the longing, it’s much harder to believe. While it sounds nice to say that we want God’s will to be our will, his will may be for us to simply trust him in the midst of our unanswered prayers--even when we cannot understand what he’s doing or even see it, and when he doesn’t seem to be opening a door or a window. If we allow them to, these places between the yes and the no or the maybe of our prayers can be the spaces God uses to make us look more like him.


[Brianna DeWitt lives, works, and writes in Grand Rapids, MI. Among her favorite things are good people, good books, and good desserts. You can see more of her musings on her personal blog at http://awritespot.wordpress.com and on Twitter at @bwitt722.]

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