On my third pass stomping from the garage, through the laundry room where my mother was calmly ironing my hubby’s shirts, down the hall and into the kitchen, sighing, slamming, a little tiny bit of swearing…my mother asked, “What’s wrong?”
Clearly something was wrong.
“I lost my driver’s license. I have looked everywhere, dumped out my purse, checked every pocket possible and stuck my finger under the seats, around the seats and even in the seat cracks where no fingers should have to go. I do NOT have time for a lost license. Do you know how awful it is to go to DMV to get a new one? I have no idea where else to look.”
My calm mother, still running the hot iron back and forth over JR’s thirty fifth shrink and wrinkled work shirt asked, “Did you pray about it?”
Did I PRAY about it?
What kind of a question is that - did I pray about a lost driver’s license? As if Jesus wants to have a conversation with anyone about their silly little inconvenience. No, actually, I didn’t.
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| Photo Credit: Fré Sonneveld |
But then I did. I went in the bathroom which adjoined the laundry room where wise mother ironed, pretended to be using it by staying in for about that long, flushed the toilet, turned on the water and washed my hands. And I talked to Jesus. The prayer may have taken on an embarrassed, whiny, somewhat desperate tone. But I prayed.
The fourth time into the garage, I opened the back door again, laid my hand under the driver’s seat again and set it on top of the driver’s license. I am not kidding. I cried. I am not kidding. When I came in the house crying my mom asked again, “What’s wrong?” And with tears I showed her the little plastic card.
“So why are you crying?” calm mother asked.
“Because I can’t believe God cares enough about something so insignificant. I can’t believe he would answer my belligerent plea for help and I didn’t even think to ask until you told me to, which I thought was silly at first and I didn’t even go to the bathroom,” I replied.
Eye rolling would have been justified. But my mom smiled and reminded me that God wants us to talk to Him about everything, anything, anytime, anywhere.
I wasted a big dose of worry, but the Lord didn’t waste that experience. I have not forgotten how I felt seen by God and responded to immediately even with my poor attitude. That one on one cheap life lesson has helped direct me to live into the truth that He cares about my basic needs, so of course He cares about what matters Most.
Sunday morning, Pastor Dirk pointed us to Matthew 6: lessons learned from birds and flowers. Birds trust God for their basic needs without worrying. God is their Master, but he is our Father, so we don’t need to be anxious. Flowers are frail and their life is short, and yet God takes care of clothing them in unmatched beauty. Jesus wants us to live as if it were true, that God sees every single one of our needs and our wants. And he cares for us, and will take care of us. When we worry, we elevate the object of of our worry to the status: What Matters Most. Jesus is teaching those who follow him that in God’s kingdom, life is more than food, clothing, politics, paychecks, work, school, housing, transportation, and vacations. What matters Most is who we are becoming, our souls, His transforming work in us. God does not want anxious thoughts to disturb our hope, our sleep or the enjoyment of this life he gave us.
How can we chase after what matters most to God? What would living look like if we ended aiming our anxiety at worldly concerns? Jesus gave a command: don’t worry. And he gave the alternative: Seek First Holiness, which is the way of God’s kingdom. Jesus said First Seek Righteousness, which is knowing God, not just knowing about God. Bring first your frustrations, your discouragement, your sorrow, your anger, the hurt that makes you hurt people; bring your exhaustion, your fears, your feelings of being trapped; bring the dreams, the longings, the helplessness, the tiniest bit of hope that’s left--bring it to God. You can trust him with it all. Bring it first thing in the day. First before the phone. First before food and friends and family. Chase after what matters most and be thankful as the Holy One does Holiness work in you. Becoming more trusting, more thankful, more forgiving, more kind, and more accepting should not surprise you when you are Seeking God First.
I’m still prone to dramatic frustration and door slamming, though less so than years ago when I lost my license the first time. I continue to learn that God is trustworthy in the minutia and the mountains of living. Though I struggle with anxiety, I keep showing up First thing in the morning to talk to Jesus, to look for His best for me, to listen for what He needs me to hear.
What if you took one small action this week to learn from lesson of the birds and the flowers, to Seek first Holiness, to First seek what matters Most?
You can trust that your life is in good hands.
[Laura DeGroot likes to laugh out loud, drink good coffee and eat delicious food...with Jesus her family and friends. She has lived from the West to the East coast but Grand Rapids is home as of one whole year. As The Caffeinated Woman, she speaks to groups of people about how ordinary life is profoundly better knowing an Extraordinary God, and works at Art Of The Table. And she loves books.]
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