Making Decisions in a World of Grey

[The Midweek Encounter is a ministry of Encounter Church in Kentwood, MI. These posts are reflections on Sunday's message, which can be heard here each week: http://myencounterchurch.org/#/messages-media] 

Many decisions we make have simple, clear-cut answers if we’re striving to follow Jesus. To yell at the coworker who made an honest mistake, or to not yell? To cheat on the physics exam, or to not cheat on the physics exam? To lie to our spouse about how we spent money, or to not lie? These answers are, in most circumstances anyway, pretty black and white. They’re rarely the ones we spend a lot of time worrying about though. Decisions that eat up our worrying time are usually all sorts of grey, with any number of solutions that could be God-honoring. Where to go to college? When to have kids? Whether or not to take the new job? While we can be confident that God will use whatever situations our choices place us in, that confidence doesn’t provide much practical help in how to actually make the decision.

Photo Credit: Behr.com

In the story of King Rehoboam, we see a decision maker who started off in a good way. Instead of making a rash, rushed decision when the people came to him asking for a lighter workload, he told them to come back in three days and then sought counsel. First he asked the wisdom of the elders who had seen the country through difficult times in the past. Then, he decided to get a second opinion by consulting the men he had grown up with and who knew him well. Up to this point, Rehoboam was actually making pretty good decisions. It can be advantageous to get input from various types of people, maybe some who have a better understanding of the situation and some who have a really good understanding of us as a person.

Unfortunately, things went downhill from there. Instead of carefully weighing the input he had received from the elders and from his friends and then using that information to make the best possible decision, Rehoboam simply opted for the advice of his not-so-wise friends without considering the consequences. He didn’t just ignore the people’s request for a lighter workload, he did the exact opposite and gave them more work to do, as well as threatened them with whipping.  

As we seek wisdom from those around us, we have to remember that not all the input we’ll receive is equal. The older advisers had spent time with Rehoboam’s dad Solomon as he ran the country and had a good understanding of how the people worked and what they would respond well to. Rehoboam’s friends knew him well, but they clearly didn’t have his or the country’s best interest in mind with their advice.

Not everyone has deserves the right to speak into our lives or into a particular decision we’re trying to make. Building a strong community full of people with wisdom that can be trusted takes time and effort--it’s not something we should simply stumble into overnight. Inviting people into our lives and allowing them to see who we really are, even in our most unpleasant, unglamorous moments can be God’s way of shaping us into better versions of ourselves. True wisdom sometimes looks like letting trustworthy people who are striving after Christ help us at the times we need it most.  At the same time, if others seek our input, we must consider our words carefully, taking into account everything we know about that person and the situation they’re dealing with. It is a gift and also a weighty responsibility to be invited to speak into someone’s life. We must use our words to build up, encourage, and guide. Even wise people can inadvertently give advice that misses the whole picture.

Our decisions are ultimately our own, but there’s no reason we have to make them completely on our own. We can learn from Rehoboam’s mistakes and seek out wisdom from good places, and then truly take the time to consider it carefully and match it up with what we already know. Making decisions and trying to follow God’s will doesn’t have to be as grey and murky as we often make it, as long as we have put in the work ahead of time and have community around us to help guide us along the way.

[Brianna DeWitt believes in Jesus, surrounding yourself with good people, and that desserts are best when they involve chocolate and peanut butter. She writes about faith, growing up, and whatever else pops into her head on her own blog, and tweets (largely about food) at @bwitt722.]

How to Find God's Map for Your Life

[The Midweek Encounter is a ministry of Encounter Church in Kentwood, MI. These posts are reflections on Sunday's message, which can be heard here each week: http://myencounterchurch.org/#/messages-media] 

“I wish God would show me a map of my life,” I’ve often said. When we’re trying to figure out what God wants us to do, it seems like giving us very clear directions would be the kindest thing. Yet, at least in my own life, I rarely find the answers as easy as typing in my destination on Google Maps. Seeking God’s will seems like a great thing to do, but actually finding his will can seem nearly impossible. When we look to the Bible for people who faced difficult decisions, Esther is an excellent example. 

Photo Credit: Andrew Neel

At first Esther's story seems picture perfect. Plucked from obscurity, she won the favor of the king and and was chosen over all the other beautiful women to become the next queen. As she lived a life of luxury in the palace though, not all was well for the rest of the Jews in the land. One of King Xerxes’ advisors schemed to eradicate the entire people group. For Esther, “hiding” in the king’s palace may have seemed like a literal lifesaver as news of this plot spread. But then a letter from her Uncle Mordecai reminded Esther that even she would not be safe forever, and her position as the queen offered a unique opportunity to perhaps make a difference. While the dark tone of Mordecai’s letter seems almost threatening, he also tells Esther, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”” (Esther 4:14).

It can’t have been an easy choice. Esther knew that she only became queen because her predecessor, Queen Vashti, had been removed from the throne for disobeying the king. By planning to approach the king without being asked, Esther was about to disobey in her own way. She had no way of knowing what would happen, and the stakes were high: Either she'd come out of the encounter still alive, or she would be dead. Her response, while maybe offered with terror in her heart, was, “And if I perish, I perish.” 

Rarely do decisions in our lives have such high stakes, yet we often waffle over them much more than Esther did. Mordecai had faith things would turn out somehow--“Relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place”--but Esther was willing to make the choice to do the hard thing she knew was right. What we see in Esther is her willingness to make a choice. She didn’t do it naively or without consideration--she and her attendants and Mordecai and all the Jews in Susa fasted and prayed for three days--but then she made the choice and carried out her plan.

Circumstances in our own lives might not come with a clear right and wrong answer, which can make it even more confusing when we’re trying to discern God’s will. Deciding between two colleges with good programs, deciding whether or not to sell our house, deciding which church God wants us to attend--we can become so afraid of making the “wrong” choice that we make no choice at all. In my own life, there have been times where I waited days or weeks under the guise of “seeking God’s will,” when really had all the information I needed and was simply delaying the inevitable. The book of Esther never explicitly mentions God, but from her action of praying and fasting, we can safely assume she had some level of relationship with him. If that’s true in our own lives, we can make our decisions with the confidence Mordecai had that deliverance would come from somewhere. 

We can’t forget the true peril Esther was in, though. She didn’t know what the outcome of her story would be. Yet even if the king had ordered her to be killed, I think we can still draw the same lessons from her story. Esther used the information she had to make the best decision she could in the moment, then trusted God enough to let him use her however he saw fit. Picking the college we think God wants us to might not go perfectly--the classes might not be as good as we thought they would be, or the friendships might not develop the way we had hoped. Buying a house might eventually lead us to financial distress. Going to a specific church might result in hurt feelings and divisiveness. It can make us question if we got God’s will wrong along the way. But maybe the more important question is if we trust God enough to use whatever happens to make us better, holier, and more like him. 


[Brianna DeWitt believes in Jesus, surrounding yourself with good people, and that desserts are best when they involve chocolate and peanut butter. She writes about faith, growing up, and whatever else pops into her head on her own blog, and tweets (largely about food) at @bwitt722.]

Subtle Tempations

[The Midweek Encounter is a ministry of Encounter Church in Kentwood, MI. These posts are reflections on Sunday's message, which can be heard here each week: http://myencounterchurch.org/#/messages-media]

When Pastor Dirk asked us to think of our own personal temptations on Sunday morning, I found it difficult to identify a temptation that currently affects my life. During my high school and college years the temptations were much more tangible—experiencing physical intimacy within a relationship, indulging in unhealthy or illegal substances, and cheating or procrastinating on schoolwork. Today I am married with a full-time job and have moved past many of those more obvious temptations, so I had to ask myself and search deep in my heart: what things are tempting me now?

Photo Credit: Flickr User chany14, Creative Commons

As we read in Luke 4, Jesus was tempted by the devil in three ways, and each time he quoted the book of Deuteronomy to resist the temptation. What’s interesting about Jesus’s use of Deuteronomy is that Moses wrote this book as his farewell to the Israelites who would be led into the Promised Land. It was written as a warning about what to do in times of plenty, in times where reliance on God isn’t as evident as having breakfast provided in the desert every morning for forty years.

If we understand this context, it illuminates the ways in which Jesus was tempted by the devil in the desert: he was tempted by good things. The temptation to turn stone into bread could have satisfied his physical hunger and given Him strength in the desert. The temptation to own all of the earthly kingdoms could have resulted in Jesus’s more apparent reign on earth. Finally, the temptation to allow God to perform a miracle and show that Jesus is the Messiah could have spread the truth to many who might not have believed.

However, all of these temptations were shortcuts that attempted to redirect God’s plan and control His will. Jesus resisted these temptations by quoting scripture and adhering to God’s ultimate plan for our salvation: Jesus’s death on the cross and resurrection from the dead. In these moments of temptation, we can clearly see Jesus’s humanity as he is lured to instant gratification for things in this world as we often are today.

I returned to thinking about what kind of temptations I face in my daily life and God revealed to me so many instances when I fail to trust in Him and try to control my own circumstances. I give in to the temptation of discontentment when I see others my age owning their first home and working at their “dream job.” I view these things as the destination and try desperately to get there faster rather than appreciating the roof over my head and my stable job. I give in to the temptation of jealousy when I see other moms who can “do it all”—work at a job they love, spend time with their kids, volunteer at church, and somehow manage to keep an organized home. Instead, I should be praising God for giving me family that is close to home who I can spend time with every week.

It’s easy to give in to the temptation of comparison and selfishness in our day-to-day lives as we strive to plan a life that is fulfilling on earth. But rather than taking shortcuts and cheating, coveting, or sinning to get ahead, maybe we should consider to experience the grace that God provides to us daily. He allows us to have the freedom to avoid the consequences of sin and so often we take advantage of that grace. This week I encourage us to simply resist the temptation to take shortcuts and instead to follow in the footsteps of God and trust that His way is truly greater than ours. What not-so-obvious temptations are you facing in your life? Are there ways in which you can use God’s Word to resist these temptations and adhere to His will?


[Megan Stephenson is a recent graduate of Grand Valley State University and works for a private education group in Grand Rapids as an Assistant Registrar. She loves spending time with her husband, Ben, trying out new breweries, restaurants, and local attractions. She also self-identifies as a crazy cat lady, despite owning no cats of her own, thanks to her loving and allergic husband.]

You Can't Screw Up God's Will

[The Midweek Encounter is a ministry of Encounter Church in Kentwood, MI. These posts are reflections on Sunday's message, which can be heard here each week: http://myencounterchurch.org/#/messages-media]


Every time I hear a sermon or read an article or book about finding God’s will, I hope that this will be the one that makes it clear for me once and for all. Yet even as we after hearing about the importance of knowing God’s word, of surrounding ourselves with people who will give us godly advice, and learning how to seek God’s perspective on things, the decisions we face in our everyday lives can still seem cloudy. Which job should I take, or should I go back to school? Is this the right school for my child or would they do better at that one? Should I stay in Grand Rapids or move somewhere else? If we apply all the good tactics Pastor Dirk has been talking about for the past few weeks, we can still be looking at these decisions with concern that we’ll make the wrong choice.

When I’m looking through the Bible for advice on God’s will, the book of Nehemiah is not typically where I’d land. But I think it works. God clearly gave Nehemiah a task: Rebuild the wall. So Nehemiah became singularly focused on that task. Everything he did he compared back to his ultimate goal: Will this help me rebuild the wall, or won’t it? Once Nehemiah had his eyes set on his goal, the other decisions became easier.

We likely don’t have any giant walls to rebuild, but on a large level, if we call ourselves followers of Jesus and are seeking to live and love more like him, our ultimate remains the same as we go through out our lives. We are to love and serve the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

While I’m absolutely on board with loving and serving God as my ultimate mission in life, there’s still something in me that balks at the idea of that being the magic bullet answer to all my life problems. I can love God well in the house where I currently live, and I can love him well if I live somewhere else—but that still doesn’t tell me where I’m supposed to live. If God has a plan for my life, why won’t he just clue me in on what that is, down to the little details that keep me up at night?

Maybe we sometimes unnecessarily complicate finding the will of God. If we’re keeping our ultimate task in mind, we can’t screw up God’s will as much as we think we can. Like Nehemiah, we can compare all of our choices back to the task God has given us and try to remain singularly focused on that. If one choice clearly takes us away from looking more like Jesus, that one is automatically out.

And the rest? If they’re all pretty evenly aligned with their potential for loving and serving God, then we use the tools God has given us for discerning his will—knowing his word, praying for guidance, and seeking advice from trustworthy people—and we make the best decision we can. But we don’t have to worry so much about choosing something that’s “out of God’s will” if it isn’t clearly going to impede our ability to live out our ultimate task. In the face of our everyday decisions over which job we take, school we pick, or city we live in, God’s will will happen just as he meant it to.


[Brianna DeWitt believes in Jesus, surrounding yourself with good people, and that desserts are best when they involve chocolate and peanut butter. She writes about faith, growing up, and whatever else pops into her head on her own blog, and tweets (largely about food) at @bwitt722.]

How to Seek God's Will

[The Midweek Encounter is a ministry of Encounter Church in Kentwood, MI. These posts are reflections on Sunday's message, which can be heard here each week: http://myencounterchurch.org/#/messages-media]

The past few weeks at Encounter, we’ve been looking for God’s will. Pastor Dirk keeps finding it…in the Bible. Whether it’s the general guiding principles, where to turn for advice, or how to gain some perspective, the Word of God is the source and anchor for seeking His will.

I know that God’s word is truth, and is full of everything I need. So why do I often spend more of my time reading Facebook? Watching random TV shows I don’t even like that much? Strolling through the internet looking for instructions on how to build a retaining wall, yet ending up with plans to build a strawberry tower (that is two hours of my week I’m not getting back)? Perhaps you’re more disciplined than I am, but I have great intentions to read my Bible, yet my time is “stolen” by so many lesser things.

Photo Credit: Flickr User compujeramy, Creative Commons

Every so often, Facebook or my email update their policies, so they helpfully invite me to peruse them; I have to click agree if I want to continue using the program. It turns out there are important disclosures in there, like how they’re going to borrow my information and sell it to other companies, and other things I should probably know. 

Have you ever read any of the policies that you have to click “agree” to?  Confession time: I don’t.  I bypass the ones from social media services, or the manifestos that appear while I’m installing programs on my computer and phone; I scan like a hawk for the “Agree” button, and move on with life. I know I should read these disclosures – but I lack thirty free minutes and a law degree (I know that’s just an excuse…but don’t pretend you read them all either!).

We are beyond blessed to live in a time when the Word of God is so available – I have a copy next to me right now that I can freely read, I can read it on my phone or on my computer – I can even read in different translations and, if I were so educated or inclined, different languages! I embraced early on that Christians believe the whole Bible – every word is inspired from God (2 Timothy 3:16). I went ahead and clicked “agree” to the Bible…long before I had ever studied even a fraction of it.

But like all of those long disclosure agreements, if I’m going to claim that I accept and believe it – I should consider myself on the hook to get into it and know it, to hear from God in His Words, and to obey them.  It’s wonderful to accept it as truth, but I also need to know what that truth is!

I have sought Your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to Your promise.  I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to Your statues.  Psalm 119:58-59 NIV

Psalm 119 is a beautiful (very, very long) proclamation of love for God’s word. In these two particular verses, the author recognizes that his ways – his will or his plans - were not in line with the ways of God. How did he discover the ways of God? The other 174 verses in the psalm would suggest that he knew them by being all up in the word of God: “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path,” he says in verse 105, and “Direct my footsteps according to your word.” (verse 133)

When we read the Bible to meet God, to hear from Him and learn His ways, it’s going to wrinkle our brains and alter our perspective on life. God sees from an eternal, unlimited perspective while we have only our peephole perspective on the whole thing; His ways might make sense to us, or they might also blow our minds. But if we never seek His perspective, if we never let the truth of His word saturate our minds and hearts, lifting us up out of this dark world to see with His light, then we will only be seeking our will, our way, our path based on our desires, our motivations, and our perspectives.

The Bible is a serious, sometimes overwhelming undertaking (have you ever noticed how many pages there are?!), and it takes some effort to read; but knowing God and having him change my perspective takes more than hearing someone talk about the Bible once a week, or hanging out with people who I assume are reading the Bible. God has gifted us with His Word, and He wants us to dig in, immerse and saturate ourselves in it, and get to know Him.

Maybe you’re so in love with the Word that this long winded thought has served only as a reminder of our commitment to God’s Word.  Or, maybe you’re feeling the motivation to crack open that beautiful Bible you have.  Either way, God wants us to know Him, to get out of our self-seeking worldly perspective and be lifted up to catch a glimpse of what He sees. He wants to speak to us, and to change us. He wants us to know His will!

Your statues are wonderful; therefore I obey them.  The unfolding your Your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.Psalm 119:129-130

[Robin Bupp is married to Caleb, and they are from many places east of the Mississippi (but are calling Michigan home for the foreseeable future). A former high school science teacher, Robin is slowly turning the two Bupp kiddos into tiny nerds while they teach her lots of things, including humility and patience.]